RANDOM FLOW OF EMOTIONS

Hi there readers. *wave* 

I had been disappearing for so long but no worries, I still visit this blog once in a while. A few times in a month maybe. Well, things had been going on too fast. Too fast that I can't afford to pause down. Too fast that I struggle to keep standing. Too fast that I can't really catch the moments. Too fast that I am now at the edge of this ASASIpintar foundation program. Is it too fast or it is just me? 

I just got back from the cafeteria. Put my back down and gave myself a little bit of the comfort of my bed. I am suppose to finish my lab reports and assignments now but something triggers my fingers to write this post. When I am alone, I can't help but to think that my life in asasi is coming to an end already. Previously, i thought I would be jumping, counting the days happily because some parts of the life here does not treat me so well. But apparently, I can't bear the thought of this life ending. I can't bear the thought of leaving these people who were once strangers but now my friends, companions, mentors, motivators and the list goes on. Until now, I still wonder how we can all get so close. Different state? Different background? That just makes us more unique. I believe the Eximians had already tear the barrier of difference long ago and I am glad that everything works out for us.

There, everyone is so happy.

Everyone is currently busy with the research project which carries a massive weightage of 6 credit hours. I wonder if I am able to cope with it. We had just finish our 6 weeks program with an orphanage and I seriously learnt a long of things from it. Maybe I should elaborate further next time. Hmm. Believe it or not, this week, starting form tomorrow, is our final week for formal lectures. The following week will be our study week. And the finals will be starting on 31st of March. After 4 papers, we will have one final week for our research presentation and yeap, the grand dinner. This constant reminder of our schedule reflects we only have so little time together. Minus the weekends, minus the busy days. How much time can we spend time together? Curi masa here and there would be the answer for now I guess. :)

I guess the worst thing that I could do was to be the first person to cry after our final EXIMIUS 1314 dinner. Hopefully I won't. Hopefully.  

P/s: This short, random post is just for me to let my emotions flow, so it's a lil' bit unorganized. Sorry.

Dear Eximians of Eximius 1314, we do this! Let's LOL more :D

Love, 

Soo Yen, the Susu of Eximius 1314 :)

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NOVEMBER 'DRAMAS'

Hi everyone :)

Well, at last I manage to write something tonight, hehe. I actually had to promise myself to finish doing a few of my assignments and homework before I can write this post. Life, right? Or not I will addicted to blogging until I forgot the reality of the world around me. Hurm, reality? How do you know the world we are living now is a reality or not? Gosh, this is the message of AP201's movie that day. But interesting question isn't it? Cikgu Iqbal, my last semester Physics sir did mentioned about this once and left all of us (or was it just me?) wondering about it but the thought vanished itself into the thin air after that.

November has been such a month. It seemed long, considering that I had my mid-semester break in it and start my second semester in November too.

November is the month of joy and bitterness. A happy goodbye to semester 1 final exam. A sad ending to the solid existence of AP101, my first semester class. There were just too much memories that I can't even list it down here. Every moment is a memory. I remember how we plead for the plan to combine 3 classes to 2 classes for semester 2 to be canceled. For me, it wasn't about class bias, it was the act of trying to defend something we love. Yah, love. Although it seemed impossible for such strong bond to be created in only 5 months, I think we managed to prove the world wrong. I still remember what Ze Song once said, "Maybe now we can only see the negative side of this thing, maybe in the future, we can see the bright side of it." After that, I tried to console myself with what he said and enjoyed the last few days of semester 1. At the same time, everyone hoped for a miracle and we did this hash tag a few days before the registration. #hopeformiracle

However, the plan did not change and we had to let go. The name list was released on the first day of the new semester and left everyone of us shocked. I had to admit I was quite naive by thinking that we will get a surprise on that day, which is the news of canceling the new class arrangement. But that seems to remain as an imagination. 8 of us, including myself is in AP102 while the other 5 is in AP202. I felt like I was drowning when I saw the name list and my friends faces, especially Adibah's and Syazwi's. I felt so useless. There was nothing we, or I could do. Everyone need to accept the reality and move on. Move on. I promise to always, always keep the spirit of QuiteOnSet (QOS) alive.

I edited these during the one week holiday :)

Enough about this, or I'll ended up teary.

November was also the month that I get to see my family after so long. T.T I had to travel from KL to Kelantan, Kelantan to Perak and then Perak to Kelantan again and lastly, Kelantan to KL. Although it was a little tiring but it was worth it. I get to spend time with my grandparents, parents, sister and it was so awesome to be at home. The atmosphere, the smell of  my bed, the home-cooked food and of course, the love. Now I know the real feeling of 'going home'. If only I could stay home longer..

Thanks Pa and Mummy for belated birthday treat :')

November was also the month I get the opportunity to visit my dear school, SMK Bachok. After leaving for UKM last May, I never had the chance to visit and that one day at school that day was such a fun one. Thanks to Bazilah, Wani and Aishah for accompanying me. I understand that the others couldn't come along, you girls must be busy right. Well, putting that aside, it was so nice to catch up with my teachers, friends and juniors. Everyone was so welcoming and I was completely engaged in conversations after conversations with the teachers. It was like stopping from one station to another, haha.

Baz and Wani :)

November was also the month of fun! We, EXIMIUS 1314 (our batch's name) had our movie premiere on the first week of our new semester. We invited Permata juniors and also lecturers. This event was sort of a continuation form the last semester so everyone worked according to last semester's classes. *grin* Plus, we did a sort of charity baking, lead by Hazril. We had to shop for the ingredients, and on that particular premiere day, we baked from morning until noon. It was the first time in my whole life, doing such an intensive baking. Felt like we were working in a bakery, hehehe. But it was fun, like seriously fun? Then, after decorating and packing the carrot cupcakes and chocolate oat cookies, we changed into our clean attire for the function that evening. Everyone in our batch was supposed to either were blue or maroon so I matched a short blue dress with my skinny, hee. OH OH, THE RESPOND WAS AWESOME. There were quite a lot of audiences and the other two classes did some sales and gave out bookmarks to everyone. Our movie was the first one to go and as bias as this will sound (anyway, nobody cares *gaya Cikgu Arho*), I LOVE 'YOU AND EYES' SO MUCH. Haha. The second one was 'Reality' and the third one was 'Bleeding Rose'. Every move has its own strong point but at last we still need to have one winner right? And it went to *drum roll* 'Reality'! So, QOS didn't win. But nobody cares. We already gave it our best shot and the making of it was the real prize. Remember what Travis Brody said to Miley in Hannah Montana The Movie? 'Life's a climb but the view is great'. The way I see it, the making of the movie is the actual essence behind this whole this assignment. It was hard and time-consuming but it was one of the things that made everyone of us grew closer to each other. Oh and a very big thank you to all our Permata juniors who acted with us, thanks for our extras, especially our 007 agent, Izzat :)

our carrot cupcake *drool*

QuietOnSet Production Crew

November was also the month of revelation. I got my semester 1 result on the 20th. We had to checked it online and man, it was so nerve-wreaking. My heart was beating like dup dap dup dap. Okay, wasn't that the normal way a heart suppose to sound? Hahaha. (Soo Yen buat lawak ke? *Zaid's style*) I can't checked it alone so i went to join a few others in the TV room. I was teary, and that was before I checked my results okay, I was just so tensed! I got news about others results and that made me even tenser haiyaa. Then, finally they managed to persuade me to check too and that time was maybe about 1.30 am in the morning. My results was.. okay? Not gempak but still okay! I'm not going to tell it here, hehe. :P Thank God. I guess that's the best for me. I will learn from it and hopefully, I'll change this semester :)The best thing is (if I'm not mistaken), everyone in our batch got 3.50 above! And we got 3 people with 4.0. Hopefully administrators and lecturers are also happy! *peace sign* Congratulations dear EXIMIUS 1314! Let's work harder this semester and keep it up, up, up! :D

Whoa. What a long post! This is what happen when I conceal things for too long, cewahh. I want to upload more photos but so lazy and the speed of internet in my room is just so-so T.T

My new class, AP102 is nice. Actually everyone already know each other because there is only 41 of us in a batch. It's just that the feeling is different. But no worries! I will get to know everyone closer and we will be bonded by the spirit of friendship and EXIMIUS 1314. I'm getting along 'okay'ly' with everyone already I think but can improve right? Yes Yen, hwaiting!

One more thing, I really want to do better this semester. No matter how big are the challenges that are coming to tear you down, get loaded and fight back. Believe in yourself and fight! Haiyak! *side kick*

Omg, I gotta get going. Planing to go for a jog tomorrow but wonder can I wake up or not, aiyoo. Good night guys! Eh, good morning! Bye! Have a nice Sunday! :)

P/S: BYE NOVEMBER *flying kises* and HI DECEMBER *wave*

Credits to Grandpa Google *wink*

Credits to Grandpa Google, i'm hungry :(

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A MINI COMEBACK

Hi there! Hi everybody :)

I know this is weird, me jumping out of a sudden, dusting of this dusty blog, after such a long time. Let me check, the last post was on 28th May, a day before I registered for ASASIpintar UKM. Well, that was whoa, one long duration right? I mean around 5 months ago? And still, I am still alive, perfectly breathing, thank God. 

It's almost 3 in the morning, the air is perfectly still but my eyes won't shut, I just don't know why so I decided to finish this business of mine, which is updating this blog after requests from my fans hahaha. To make it less formal, I regard it as recalling how my life had been, for these few months after the turning point where I call myself a foundation student. These few months were not perfect, I did not found myself in a bliss nor in a state of unhappiness. One thing for sure, I did not regret any moment of it because each moment had been so precious. People often say that experience is the best teacher and I guess I need to salute the first person who quoted that. I found out that these hard few months taught me lessons after lessons that made me grew. I guess I turned 18 with a good brain. Not to say that I am already matured or a grown-up now, (well, you won't really know when you are matured) but I guess I did changed. Okay, let's call it 'change'.

For the first time in my life, I need to stay at a hostel. For the first time too, I need to manage my life, my food, my clothes and lots of things while maintaining focus in my study. It seems impossible five months ago. But now, I'm already enjoying my semester break, relaxing before having an awesome second semester start next week. Of course, i did stumbled a few times before I manage to end this semester. Many times actually, many. I am not perfect and I wasn't the top top top student who can perfectly meet the deadly deadlines, who can manage the pressure of scoring well in everything. I worked hard for it but sometimes things just won't work out. There were days where you need to control your tears from falling down, ignore that bump in your throat and lie to yourself that everything is going to be okay although you secretly knew that things won't be. There were days that were filled with sunshine and you could just lay down the bed and catch the sun rays that enter through the window and just breathe. Honestly, I am grateful for both; the rainy days taught me memorable lessons while the sunny days gave me sweet memories.

Here's an example. I still remember there was this crazy day where I accidentally slept at 8 at night and woke up at 5 the next morning. The next day was the last day before my study week and just imagine the assignments that I need to pass up on that day. Actually I did not slept the night before, due to certain abnormalities hehe but certainly I can't forgive myself when I woke up that time. Missed calls, messages was the only thing that filled my phone screen and I didn't even heard any beep or ringing! I guess I seriously had a good night sleep and now I need to face a bad day. The first thing that came into my mind was I am going to die. I will be a dead meat. Half of the work was not done and I need to submit most of them before 12 noon as it was Friday and I have a proposal presentation which was too important to risk. I spent a few minutes wiping off my tears and assembled myself before I accept the reality that hey, I need to be strong for today and I need to try as hard, as hard as possible to finish things up since it was my own fault that I slept a.k.a. faint. 

So, I did things one by one and the day was such a day. I was rushing here, rushing there, laptop on, laptop off and in most of the lessons on that day, my mind wasn't there, only my body was. My mind was busy calculating time, finding strategies on how to find time between the lectures and decide which should be my priority. At the end of the day, I manage to finish all but one of them was not submitted on time and the lecturer was understanding and she gave me more time and I submitted it in the evening. By the way, the presentation was okay, my lecturer pointed out things to be improved but at least, I wasn't smashed or crushed at the end of my presentation. Honestly, that day was one of the bad days I had and it could rank first I think. I could barely breathe, most of the time I chocked through my tears but my friends helped me through that day, a lot. Thanks so much guys. The feeling of that day was so not pleasant and negative thoughts were occupying my mind, it was really hard to think and no no no, I don't want to have that feeling again. Give me another big teddy bear but I just can't bear the dreadful feeling of waiting everything to be okay. Please no, hopefully never again.

This incident had certainly taught me lots of things. The lesson, 'not to procrastinate' was deeply embedded and the day was a solid prove of the disaster that procrastinating can lead too. I learnt to be more responsible. I overslept and yes, I need to face the consequences. 'Sendiri buat, sendiri tanggunglah'. Responsibility can be scary sometimes but it all depends on yourself. Face it like a person and you will be rewarded. Be rewarded in the sense that things will be okay at the end. For my case, I manage to finish everything almost 'okay-ly'.

So yeap. This is my mini comeback. This post is to boost my desire to write again! I did said that I want to share my life in ASASIpintar here right? But didn't manage to do that yet hehe. I am not sure whether this post gets side-tracked or whatever but I haven't blabber randomly for so long already. Forgive me if this makes you yawn or what hahhaa. Well, getting a little sleepy now. I should sleep. 

Till then, thanks for reading.

 Although I am not sure whether is anyone reading this or not. Sigh, I am such an irresponsible blogger.

Okay, byeeee :)

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