Wednesday, November 6, 2013


Hi there! Hi everybody :)

I know this is weird, me jumping out of a sudden, dusting of this dusty blog, after such a long time. Let me check, the last post was on 28th May, a day before I registered for ASASIpintar UKM. Well, that was whoa, one long duration right? I mean around 5 months ago? And still, I am still alive, perfectly breathing, thank God. 

It's almost 3 in the morning, the air is perfectly still but my eyes won't shut, I just don't know why so I decided to finish this business of mine, which is updating this blog after requests from my fans hahaha. To make it less formal, I regard it as recalling how my life had been, for these few months after the turning point where I call myself a foundation student. These few months were not perfect, I did not found myself in a bliss nor in a state of unhappiness. One thing for sure, I did not regret any moment of it because each moment had been so precious. People often say that experience is the best teacher and I guess I need to salute the first person who quoted that. I found out that these hard few months taught me lessons after lessons that made me grew. I guess I turned 18 with a good brain. Not to say that I am already matured or a grown-up now, (well, you won't really know when you are matured) but I guess I did changed. Okay, let's call it 'change'.

For the first time in my life, I need to stay at a hostel. For the first time too, I need to manage my life, my food, my clothes and lots of things while maintaining focus in my study. It seems impossible five months ago. But now, I'm already enjoying my semester break, relaxing before having an awesome second semester start next week. Of course, i did stumbled a few times before I manage to end this semester. Many times actually, many. I am not perfect and I wasn't the top top top student who can perfectly meet the deadly deadlines, who can manage the pressure of scoring well in everything. I worked hard for it but sometimes things just won't work out. There were days where you need to control your tears from falling down, ignore that bump in your throat and lie to yourself that everything is going to be okay although you secretly knew that things won't be. There were days that were filled with sunshine and you could just lay down the bed and catch the sun rays that enter through the window and just breathe. Honestly, I am grateful for both; the rainy days taught me memorable lessons while the sunny days gave me sweet memories.

Here's an example. I still remember there was this crazy day where I accidentally slept at 8 at night and woke up at 5 the next morning. The next day was the last day before my study week and just imagine the assignments that I need to pass up on that day. Actually I did not slept the night before, due to certain abnormalities hehe but certainly I can't forgive myself when I woke up that time. Missed calls, messages was the only thing that filled my phone screen and I didn't even heard any beep or ringing! I guess I seriously had a good night sleep and now I need to face a bad day. The first thing that came into my mind was I am going to die. I will be a dead meat. Half of the work was not done and I need to submit most of them before 12 noon as it was Friday and I have a proposal presentation which was too important to risk. I spent a few minutes wiping off my tears and assembled myself before I accept the reality that hey, I need to be strong for today and I need to try as hard, as hard as possible to finish things up since it was my own fault that I slept a.k.a. faint. 

So, I did things one by one and the day was such a day. I was rushing here, rushing there, laptop on, laptop off and in most of the lessons on that day, my mind wasn't there, only my body was. My mind was busy calculating time, finding strategies on how to find time between the lectures and decide which should be my priority. At the end of the day, I manage to finish all but one of them was not submitted on time and the lecturer was understanding and she gave me more time and I submitted it in the evening. By the way, the presentation was okay, my lecturer pointed out things to be improved but at least, I wasn't smashed or crushed at the end of my presentation. Honestly, that day was one of the bad days I had and it could rank first I think. I could barely breathe, most of the time I chocked through my tears but my friends helped me through that day, a lot. Thanks so much guys. The feeling of that day was so not pleasant and negative thoughts were occupying my mind, it was really hard to think and no no no, I don't want to have that feeling again. Give me another big teddy bear but I just can't bear the dreadful feeling of waiting everything to be okay. Please no, hopefully never again.

This incident had certainly taught me lots of things. The lesson, 'not to procrastinate' was deeply embedded and the day was a solid prove of the disaster that procrastinating can lead too. I learnt to be more responsible. I overslept and yes, I need to face the consequences. 'Sendiri buat, sendiri tanggunglah'. Responsibility can be scary sometimes but it all depends on yourself. Face it like a person and you will be rewarded. Be rewarded in the sense that things will be okay at the end. For my case, I manage to finish everything almost 'okay-ly'.

So yeap. This is my mini comeback. This post is to boost my desire to write again! I did said that I want to share my life in ASASIpintar here right? But didn't manage to do that yet hehe. I am not sure whether this post gets side-tracked or whatever but I haven't blabber randomly for so long already. Forgive me if this makes you yawn or what hahhaa. Well, getting a little sleepy now. I should sleep. 

Till then, thanks for reading.
 Although I am not sure whether is anyone reading this or not. Sigh, I am such an irresponsible blogger.
Okay, byeeee :)