2014. A year of goodbyes and changes.
Hi there, hope everyone is perfectly fine. If not fine, then just okay, alright? :)
This post is just to recap and share what I have been through in 2014. So that memories won't fade away. You know the feeling of wanting to hold on, on pieces of memories that someone has given to you? Takut. Takut sangat nak lepaskan. Perhaps it's the guilt of not being able to keep the memory alive.
Around April or May last year, I thought that saying goodbye to Eximius was the hardest thing to do. We cried a lot, well I did. Tears of sadness because we know that things are not going to be the same again. But there was no pain. We promise each other that we will keep this friendship strong, keep the Eximius spirit alive, no matter how far we are apart from each other.
So that's my first hard goodbye of the year.
The next few months of holidays were filled with choices. Especially choices which I will be responsible for a lifetime. What do I want to do as a human on earth? What degree do I want to take? Which way? Thank God for my supportive parents, family, lecturers and friends. I went for two interviews in UKM, both medical and dentistry faculties, not knowing what results to expect. Pray and tawakal, they said.
I spent two to three months of the holidays in this skyscraper city. Had a working experience. Dear uncle wants me to experience the real world and not to be confined in my thoughts of this 'perfect' world. Eventually , he got my a job in a fast food outlet somewhere. A few jabs and tests, got my uniform and off I go. Managers and colleagues, both local and immigrants were the people I interacted for the few months. Unexpected new friendship. Nice customers (perhaps bad ones too, but who am I to judge). Long working schedule. Not to forget, a peep to the world of reality. My comment? Not bad huh.
The rush. From waking up in the wee hours of the morning (puffy eyes are a norm) to attending long queues. Dragged both my feet back on the very first day.
The perfection. All the procedures that each cashier has to follow. Eye contacts. Checked. Colgate smile. Checked. Key in orders. Checked. Repeat orders. Checked. Suggest add-ons. Checked.
Not to forget. Getting degree admission results in this city. With friends at the airport. I guess the whole airport turned to us when we screamed. Alas, this is s one in a lifetime shout out. Throw all you 'ayu-ness' and petite attitude for a while Yen. *laugh* Called the whole family to share. God, thank you.
A little celebration at a little cafe that night. Still remember how it was. I can't forget how excited was his face. I'm just his niece but it seemed that he told everyone he met on that day. He wanted to post the results on FB but I won't let him. He was searching on how to blur the IC but I begged him not to. Which he finaly agreed at the end, yeay. Perhaps the world was good to me at that time but not others. But now, to think back, perhaps I should just let him pass. Starbucks after dinner with 'Congratulations Yen' on the cup, the night was just perfect.
When it is time to say goodbyes again, my heart ache. We just need to take charge of our future alright? Resignation letter. Checked. Donuts for everyone. Checked. Thank you wishes and hugs. Checked.
Flew back to Kelantan for preparation. Shopping shopping shopping.
Drove down to KL with parents, pit stopped at grandparents' house. Thanksgiving prayers. Checked. Little celebration at kampung house. Checked. Grandma's scrumptious food. Checked.
"Ah Ma and Ah Kong don't know whether we can wait as long as 5 years to see you graduate."
There was no definite answer for that. Just, have faith perhaps.
I wouldn't want to describe my degree life here yet. Just know that I've lost someone very dear to me in November. I haven't really put the word 'late' every time I talk about him. See, all the 'he' in this post all refers to him. Okay maybe this is confusing, sorry. And I wouldn't want to talk about what happened, how he went and stuffs. Just hope that he's up there, smiling :)
Saying goodbye is hard. But you will feel better when you know that you will be seeing the person again. Want to know what's harder? Saying goodbye, knowing that you will never see the person ever again.
Perhaps this post is sort of 'berterabur', sorry. Just want to make clear my head a bit and slowly start writing back. No promises though. Let's see how life is, haha. Thanks and toodles.
-Yen
